October 8, Oakland, 2016. All images © Rian Dundon.
Like many of my friends, I am guilty of portraying my husband — also the father to our daughter, 2, and son, 4 months — as a complete buffoon on social media.
“Went to take a shower, and my husband dumped the bottle of breastmilk I had just pumped down the drain,” I recently shared on Facebook to my 1,900 friends, for example.
The truth is, we’re both learning how to be parents together. I make just as many mistakes as he does, but the cultural norm is for me to be portrayed like a suffering martyr, and my husband to be portrayed as a bumbling selfish moron. It is only through watching my husband with our daughter that I have come to appreciate how important his role is. She needs me but, but she absolutely LOVES him. He is her everything.
My shifting perspective made me especially grateful to come across a series of photographs on how fatherhood alters your view of the world by Rian Dundon in The New York Times. The images show how a new father views the world — not as a place where he is constantly irritated by his nagging wife, or confused by his tiny child, but instead, caught between a sense of wonder, and a serious fear of death.
Below is a selection of images from the series. To see more, visit the post on the Lens blog.
And to learn more about Rian Dundon’s work, visit his website, or follow him on Instagram.
Julie and Mazie at the restaurant, Oakland, 2016.
Self-portrait with car seat, Portland, 2016.
Aunt Sheila’s engagement ring, Carmel Valley, 2017.
War memorial, Lafayette, 2018.
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